“Who Are You
says, “If you don’t go to college, you won’t get a good
says, “Forget that promotion. You don’t have the right
Your inner voice
whispers, “I can’t do this!” “What if I
There is no
shortage of advice from people telling you, “You won’t!” “You
can’t!” or “You’ll fail if you try.” You may even use that same
language talking to yourself. Let’s examine these
The people giving
you negative advice usually fall into one of two
There are those
who genuinely care about you and don’t want to see you get hurt.
So, they encourage you not to strive for something better. Then,
there are those who are afraid that you will succeed, making them
look bad. Or, they project their own insecurities on
No matter their
motivation for giving you advice, these people will feed your
self-doubt and steal your joy, keeping you from making the
decisions that will open a whole new world of
Then there is
that negative inner voice that asks, “What if I fail? What will it
cost me? Or, “How will my family or friends respond?” If you
dwell on the negatives, you almost always ensure negative
To defeat these
voices of negativism, change your questions. “What will I gain
when I succeed?” “What additional opportunities will come when I
succeed?” “How will my success help others?” Then, after
writing down the pros and cons, make your decision based on facts,
Here is a short
A young mother
who had been excellent at clerical work received an opportunity.
The woman who managed a radio station invited her to sell
advertising. This was a commission only position. After a serious
discussion with her spouse, she decided to take the chance. Almost
immediately, the other salespeople told her that she would fail and
drop out in less than 3 months. At the end of 2½ years, she was the
top performer, passing over those who said she would fail. This
young woman had asked herself the “right” questions. Then she threw
herself into learning her trade, serving her clients, and being a
takeaways. Be careful who you listen to. Make your decisions based
on facts, not on feelings. When you decide to make a change, don’t
look back and ask, “What if…?”
“Who Are You
That is today’s
To discover how
we will help you create the exception leader that you want to
become, contact me directly at email@example.com or
864-630-2625. Larry Bonorato
MORNING MINUTE: 6/23/23
“How Do You Define Success?”
This is a two-part question.,
As a leader intent on creating a winning team, you need to know how
each team member defines success. To create your own success, you
must define it for yourself.
Let’s examine each.
To understand how a person views success, you ask them, “What
does success look like to you?” Be quiet and let them talk.
They may never have been asked this question before. To see their
real objective, you may need to ask, “And, then what?”
For instance, as you interview Melissa, you ask, “How do you
define success?” She answers, “I need a better job.” You
ask her to describe a “better” job.
She answers, “I need to make more money.” You ask,
“And then what?” Melissastates she needs a better car. You
ask, “And then what?” She shares that because her car is
broken she must borrow her Mom’s car. Her mother also works, so
that limits the amount of time Melissa can use Mom’s car to 24
hours per week, only after 3pm each day.
You ask, “After you get a better car, then what?” Melissa shares,
“With a better car I can work a full week, earn more money, and
be able to help Mom with the bills.” You ask, “And
then what?” She tears up and shares, “Then we can stop
fighting over money and me using her car!” Now you know how she
defines success. Being independent, feeling good about her job, and
regaining a better relationship with her mother. Their definition
of success is rarely about money. Keep asking until you find their
Now, defining your own success requires the same track. You write
down that you want to make $12k per month. Ask yourself, “Then
what?” You write so that I can pay all my bills on time.
“Then what?” So, I can put my kids in private school.
“Then what?” So, they will have better friends and learn
more. “Then what?” So, we can spend more time together and I
can stop being gone 16 hours a day working 2 jobs. “Then
what?” So, I can give them more guidance because I have
more time, and we can be happier together as a
Bingo! There is your success picture!
Use this process to really determine both your view of success and
that of each team member.
That is today’s Morning Minute!