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Week of 9/12/22


“I can’t believe this happened!”

“What happened?”

Oh, my! It would be helpful if I didn’t get ahead of myself.

A woman who goes to church with us came to me with a problem. She knew I dealt with autos, banks, and contracts daily. After her exclamation she explained that one of her grown children had forged her name to an auto loan to get a vehicle because that child had horrible credit. This mother became aware of this when the lender came to her to pay off the loan she had “guaranteed.” She was quite upset with this child for ruining her credit. She asked me what I recommended that she do. “There are 3 options,” I explained, “None of which would be pleasant.”

Her first option was a legal action against this child through the police or the lender. If successful, she could clear her credit, but her child would probably go to prison. Plus, it would probably take a minimum of 2 years to litigate.

Her second option would be to forego legal action so there would be no prison term. This option involved turning her back on the child, not forgiving the action nor the person. By taking this course of action the feelings of distrust, anger, and guilt would destroy any future relationship that they may have. Those three emotions would eat away at both of them forever.

The third option would require the mother forgiving the child and the child accept- ing that forgiveness, working to regain the mother’s trust. This option would be tough for both of them in the beginning. But this could save the relationship going forward if there was true forgiveness by the mother and honest acceptance of responsibility by the child. After praying for guidance, the mother chose this option.

We will all be faced with tough decisions for which there are no easy answers. When that happens, you may have to choose between anger and conflict, or forgiveness and peace.

Just remember, your anger does not hurt the person with whom you are angry. However, anger and/or jealousy are like poison that will eat away at you in both body and spirit until you take the action of laying it down. In the Lord’s Prayer we ask for forgiveness as we forgive others. It is only through true forgiveness that our spirit and body may be healed.

You will find stories such as this and so much more in my book, WORK WITH ME NOT FOR ME. This book is available AMAZON in audio, e-book, paperback, or hard cover.

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Morning Minute 9/14/2022

“Every person…is a salesperson.”

Sarah thought, “That’s an odd statement. I can’t sell anything.” She heard this on her favorite podcast as she was going to work. But that statement annoyed her all morning like a being behind a slow driver when she was in a hurry. “Am I really a salesperson?”

As she pondered the statement, she thought about her teenaged daughter. Abbi could really sell, especially when she wanted to stay overnight with a friend after a ball game. She thought, “Am I selling her as I share with her the importance of modesty and personal responsibility?” “Are we selling each other?”

Her mind shifted to Abbi at school. “Is her teacher selling when she explains to the students the requirement of speaking and writing proper English?” “Is Abbi selling the teacher that she needs a good grade?”

At lunch she dropped off her garments at the dry cleaners, then bought a sandwich. “Is the person at the dry cleaners selling me on why I need their service?” “Am I selling them on the need to have these ready tomorrow?” “Is the person at the drive thru window selling by asking to upgrade my order for an extra 50 cents?”

At her clerical job, she wondered, “Is my Boss selling me on the need to follow the process?” “Am I selling her on the fact that I can handle more responsibility?” Tom, her husband, is a carpenter. “Is his Boss selling him on the importance on being finished by Friday?” “Is Tom selling his Boss when he asks if he wants the job done quickly or done right?”  

Later, she thought about the message at church last Sunday. “Was the preacher selling the benefits of honesty as he explained the meaning behind a particular scripture passage?” “By setting a good example, was the usher selling as he helped her family find a place to sit together even though they were late arriving?”

Driving home, a thought entered Sarah’s mind. “The speaker was right. We ARE all salespersons. We don’t even think about it. We just do it instinctively.” Then she was selling again as she shared the need for Abbi to turn off the phone and complete her homework.

Do you agree that we are ALL salespersons? Who will you sell today?

You will find stories like this in my book, WORK WITH ME NOT FOR ME. This book is available at AMAZON in audio, e-book, paperback, or hard cover.

Visit our website at

Morning Minute 9/16/22

“Hey stupid, get your head in the game!!!”

The noise from the crowd paused briefly.

The coach towered above the 8-year-old players. They were trembling and silent. And, they were losing by 27 points. The screaming had begun before the game and got louder and more ferocious as the game progressed. Instead of changing their actions on the field, the players, afraid of being the object of another viscous tirade, were partially frozen…not wanting to make a mistake. The assistant coach for the team stayed on the sideline, not challenging the head coach. The results were predictable. Missed tackles, dropped passes, 3 fumbles, and a blocked kick. After the game, more screaming as the coach pointed out every mistake.

The coach for the other team gathered his coaches and players together before the game began. They discussed the game plan, who would start, who would back-up. He reminded them of what they had practiced. Then he shared how performing their very best would lead to a “team win.” During the game he firmly but calmly made adjustments, pointed out to individuals how their performance could improve, and celebrated good performances with them. The assistant coach worked the sidelines, getting players ready to go in and keeping them engaged in the activities on the field. The atmosphere was encouraging, not demeaning. The result was a “team win,” 43-0.  

What makes some leaders resort to name calling and screaming to “motivate” their teams? Is it because they were never trained to lead? Are they put in positions for which they are not suited? What are the results of all those actions?

Science tells us that for every action there is a reaction. Leadership training shares that the people on your team do not care how much you know, until they know how much you care. Disciplined leadership requires that you know your team members as persons, that you know what motivates them, and that each one knows of your desire to have them succeed by insisting they do their very best. This is true in sports, business, families…in any group or organization. Know your team members first as people, understanding what they want to accomplish. Then guide their actions and their thoughts and you will have a winning team.

And, that is today’s morning minute.

You will find stories like this in my book, WORK WITH ME NOT FOR ME. This book is available at AMAZON in audio, e-book, paperback, or hard cover.